Anyone can be bullied. Adults and kids. This can
occur at your workplace, school or even church.
Bullying is often done in secret.
That is why the wrong person sometimes get the blame.
I know of instances where a person has been mentally and
physically tortured by other persons and decided to finally
retaliate violently.
Then the real victim was disciplined by the school for being overly
aggressive in his response to what appeared to be a minor problem.
That is why I do not believe in these zero tolerance policies.
The WHOLE situation must be examined.
I also know of parents who have threatened little kids who are
bullying their kids with violence, because they know that they
are making life a living hell for their child.
I’m not condoning this type of behavior… NEVER. But I do
understand how it could get to this point.
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Tip #1
Just TELLING a person to stand up for himself is not enough
to deter bullies and rarely works.
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Often times persons can’t stand up. There is something in the
way the bully has set things up that makes the bullied person
feel that he has no power to make a change in this situation.
Remember bullying begins with an imbalance of power. Two against
one, a more accepted social group, a larger kid, etc…. These are
all ways that power manifests itself.
If it starts with an imbalance of power. a successful plan must first
correct the imbalance.
Sometimes it is the bullied person’s emotional and psychological
make up that makes it difficult for them to react to the threat.
Sometimes it is the school or work environment itself, as the bullied kid does
not believe authorities can or will help them. Why? Because previous cries
for help have been ignored or the bully has been allowed to create
this type of perception.
So what should be the first step to correct this imbalance.
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Tip #2
Identify what is causing the imbalance of power and move to
shift the power back in the favor of the bullied person.
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As a parent, you may have to pick your child up from school at an
earlier time to deny the bully access to your child.
As an adult you may have to transfer to a different department to avoid
the bully.
You might have to enroll your child in self defense classes
to increase his confidence.
I repeat. It is often NOT as simple as saying, “Oh, toughen up kid!”
If you want him to get tougher, you have to give him the tools to be so.
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You may have to visit the child’s teacher or visit the bully’s parents.
What do you say?
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No matter what the situation, unless there is an imminent physical threat
with no persons of Authority available to step in, direct violence should
be the LAST step in trying to solve the problem and it may only make the
situation worse.
Therefore the kid’s personal plan should begin with what is called VERBAL JUDO.
I’ll talk about verbal Judo and why I think it is a good starting point
in the next article.
Professor D’Arcy Rahming
9th degree Black Belt
Trainer of Life Champions,
Youth Olympians and Pan Am Medalist.
http://BestSelfDefense.CO
P.S.
Any plan must involve increasing the student’s confidence.
